Are you there? Because i’m Still Here
Hi. I know… I know.
It’s been a while.
First of all Happy New Year.
It’s February 1st. How has your year been?
Don’t lie, did your year start over today? lmaoooo
I’m not gonna lie mine did.
January wasn’t a waste. I actually did some good things. But I’ve been missing, so let’s catch up.
I got in the gym.
I’m still in remission.
My hair is growing back.
My mental is stable.
Thank you, God. Truly.
Girl… who am I? Me and the gym in the same sentence is actually funny. Like I even went on my lunch break.
Baddie behaviorrrrrrrrrrr
My test came back negative meaning no tumor detected, thank God. I do have a procedure coming up, so please my men and women, go get your colonoscopies. Take care of your bodies.
I lost hair this second round of chemotherapy, and it’s finally growing back now. Yippy.
I’m so glad I am not my hair because the old me wouldn’t have survived that loss. This version of me did.
I don’t really have an excuse for why I haven’t put anything new out. I just didn’t feel like talking.
But I’ve been here. Ups and downs, but mostly ups.
All I really have to say today is this:
It is okay.
It’s okay to not be okay
It’s okay to vent
It’s okay to cry and not explain why
It’s okay to explore new things and outgrow old versions of yourself
It’s okay to ask for help and its okay to accept it
It’s okay to say no without feeling guilt
It’s okay to not have it all together or figured out
It’s okay to lean on your friends when you’re tired of being strong
It’s okay to rest
It’s okay to sleep in
It’s okay to cancel plans
It’s okay to change your mind
It’s okay to feel proud of yourself, even quietly
It’s okay to feel behind
It’s okay to move at your own pace
It’s okay to feel joy after surviving hard things
It’s okay to post that picture
It’s okay to take up space
It’s okay to choose yourself
It’s okay to still be healing and still be happy.
Both can exist.
It’s okay.
Please know you are in control of your own life. Not anyone else.
Pick your head up.
-K🤍
Song of the Week : Sometimes x Snoh Aalegra
12 Comments
Anonymous
🤎
Dad
Definitely okay to not be okay. We are all imperfect humans & as a result, there’s no such thing as perfect. Baby, continue working on you as I’m sure we are all doing the same. Young or old, we are NEVER to old to start learning! I love your word play! I really think you need to inculpret some poetry in here. I look forward to picking ya brain as you prosper & move closer to your purpose! Love you kiddo
K.
thank you dad, love you as well!
Khalil
You are an inspiration 😭 the vulnerability shows character, and the ability to give life grace shows determination. I’m glad you’re okay sister! Proud of you
K.
thank you brother, means a lot!
Anonymous
I needed this bubs 🤎
Anonymous
I needed this bubs 🤎🥺
K.
always at the right time!
Brieey
I wouldn’t say that I started the new year over again because my January was pretty good despite a few challenges her and there. Now I am looking forward to the rest of the month and starting that over but my year is my year and we’re in GO MODE all year. It’s okay for everything to happen in this life. We’ve only been where we’re at one time. None of us has experienced this current moment.
K.
Go mode all year, on our ZOOM.
Terrilyn Jones
U know your big sis is still here, just been busy growing a tiny human. LoL. It’s definitely ok to not be ok, as a second time mom I’m still learning that. Sometimes I feel that since I’m a mother I’m supposed to be invincible, my feelings and thoughts should be on the back burner, however it’s not healthy for me nor is it healthy for TJ. I’m learning again that there are things that I can’t control and that is ok, I’m won’t be condemned nor punished for it…sometimes we have to fall apart in order to rebuild bigger, better and stronger. Definitely take care of yalls health and listen to your bodies!!!
K.
I 100% agree. Sometimes you have to fall apart to come back stronger. It’s all about the journey.